she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
