Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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