shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
