your parents love me but you hate me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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