does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
