YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
