do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
