That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize