nut hugger
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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