this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
