I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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