Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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