Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
