I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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