Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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