come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
