it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is my gift to your gina
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
