So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
do nipples grow back?
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