I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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