carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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