I think my vagina is haunted
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
