For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize