I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
