honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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