dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
