you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
