I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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