I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
