her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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