I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
