i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
