Is it normal to miss your booty call?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
