so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
nutella sex= disaster
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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