I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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