You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
