Can i not drive my cunt home
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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