We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.