I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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