why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
