Already got asked if we're dating
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
