Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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