My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
