Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
