No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
