Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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