why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
