ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
