why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
