Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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