Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
