that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize