false alarm. still invincible.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
