I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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