you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
