Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
