we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
me + whiskey = a bad person
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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