This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
