Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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